Woodburning of TOV that I made for Adam as wedding present.

During our pre-marital counseling, Adam and I talked about the wide swing of dynamics in our relationship.  He tends to be more even keel, I tend to ride high most of the time.  It was then that our Pastor, Paul Hoffman of Phinney Ridge Lutheran Church in Seattle, introduced us to the concept of TOV.  I had a sense of it's gravity at the time (hence the gift) and it has become so central to our marriage over the past 4 years.  


While TOV most certainly is a religious term and while I most certainly call myself a religious person, I promise that this won't be a (full) lesson in Theology.  But alas... In the creation story in Genesis, the scriptures say that when God created the earth and all its creatures, he saw that it was "good."  But the author uses the word "TOV" in the Hebrew text.  Here the translation to "good" is incomplete.  For the good here isn't like the difference between a tasty cupcake and a bowl of cauliflower, nor is it saying that God had simply done a good job and was happy with the work.  The word TOV means in beautiful, perfect balance.  Pastor Judy of North Park University recently described this concept well in her blog.  She says "TOV means that things are beautiful and working the way they are supposed to work.  TOV is creation running on all cylinders, beautiful by design and with not a piece of it going to waste."

For a couple who naturally trends toward being out of TOV, out of balance, we have to work at this.  It means more communication most days, and some days it means giving each other more space to breathe.  But most immediately, it means finding the many ways in which our life is out of TOV and doing what we can to restore it.

In just a matter of days, we'll move into a new house that (hopefully) will be a huge step in the right direction.  Smaller house, less stuff, WAY shorter commute, a greater sense of community.  We're starting on our quest of FINDING TOV.