Opa!

Let's talk about Eva.  Since we only moved in 3 weeks ago and I'm not sure Eva would even know what a blog is if I told her about it, I didn't think it'd be fair to snap her pic to post.  But she's a cross between this: 

And an ultra chic grandmother.  She's are awesome Greek next door neighbor.  She dresses all in black.  Her sister lives around the corner.  She dresses all in black too.  And her daughter comes by often.  In, you guessed it, black.  I'll have to do some research as to what's up with the Greeks and their monochromatic wardrobe choices.  But that's for another post.  What amazes me about Eva is her family.  Every time we see her on her stoop, someone is visiting her.  She even has a little bench out front for her guests.  Eva and her sister walk the neighborhood regularly.  Her daughter, son (who oddly does NOT dress in all black), granddaughter, nephews, cousins, everyone all live within a few blocks or miles of here.  And they are always together.  And it's grand.  


All this visiting and going on (in Greek no less) got me thinking about back in the day when everyone lived so very close to their families.  And how much a part of your social life they were.  And how unusual it is to have that kind of close-knit circle anymore.  I think it is more common in the city and at least seems pretty popular in our neighborhood.  But all in all, there's a whole lot of moving away and spreading out that happens.  


Many of you know that Adam and I lived in Seattle before H came along.  We love it there, we miss it, and if we're being honest, we'll probably move back there some day.  And while there are a lot of ways in which our decision to move back east happened more out of our neglect to consider staying as an option than an actual choice, something was definitely calling us home.  


If you're my parents or my in-laws, you might be scoffing by now.  Because we see you guys maybe once a month.  And again with the honesty thing, that's just about perfect in our minds.  We like a little bit of space. But since gaining this new space, new territory here in Philly, I've become really aware just how glad I am that we're close(r) to family.  I've spent a LOT of my time and energy forging connections with other groups and other people, but my family is my original clan.  That's what I think Eva has - a clan, a tribe that she hails from.  And in my own way (and with a less exotic language and a more exotic wardrobe), I do too.


My mom is all types of into genealogy and tries to get me (the history buff!) to get into it to.  I usually am too interested in my own things to really listen to those stories and that history but watching Eva and her family over the past few weeks, it makes me want to get closer to my own.  They always keep me grounded and help to maintain balance in my life.  Afterall, I am in search of that balance, that TOV.  So while I'll keep marking my new little spot in this world, MOM - IF YOU'RE READING THIS (and you should), BRING ON THE TRIBE!

A breath of fresh air

View from the park at the Art Museum

We've been really lucky to have pretty awesome weather so far since becoming "a city slicker" as my co-workers now affectionately refer to me.  And with that, has come ample opportunities to sample the 75+ parks that Philly has to offer (okay we have not been to all 75+ yet but we're up to about 7 which I think is pretty great).  Here's a view from our dinner picnic Friday night: 








A frequent comment we've gotten since telling people about our move and our quest to downsize has been the loss of our (albeit meager) back yard.  And while we have what I think is the most killer patio, it has not an ounce of grass to its name.  Our reply?  PARKS!  Don't get me wrong, I will miss playing games of horseshoes and having a huge outdoor party without having to rent space from the Parks & Rec team but in a lot of ways, we're really looking forward to living more out in the open.  


During our picnics and various outings this weekend, H encountered approximately 8 dogs that she "pet pet"-ed including one who was catching a plate (read: frisbee).  We caught up with old friends, met 2 new ones, and watched H conquer THE BIG KID SLIDE at the playground.  It was great for Adam and I too because it gave us a chance to passively observe how other parents deal with a sometimes defiant toddler, to observe the cultural differences between our new home and our own frames of mind, and to get some plain on fresh air.  In some strange way, it was like our first communion with Philadelphia.  It's like we were soaking it into our bones, wrapping ourselves in the newness.


While privacy in the way that everyone on House Hunters defines it (Chris - I can SEE another HOUSE!  This definitely does not have enough privacy!) has never been high on our list, having our own space definitely is.  We didn't have much privacy in the traditional home sense in Phoenixville (although we had the best neighbors in the WORLD!  Love you Greens and Halls!) and now we have even less buffer space.  But moving here has started redefining privacy for me.  Having less square footage and a toddler with a strong desire to walkrunjump all day long, we're called out into our fair city.  It beckons us to step out and learn more about our surroundings and experience life.  But the grandeur, at least I find, often makes me feel very small.  I'm able to gain a different type of privacy by being in SUCH a public space so much that it's as if no one is watching.  It's soothing.  And it's had a cool effect on how I feel about our house too.  I used to feel like homes could really be suffocating.  But now, once I've had enough of my private exposure, I come home, and cuddle up in my house, my space.  


I'm finding that living more on the outside of life, out in the open, and connecting with my world is feeding my soul in a totally new way.  I hope you can get outside sometime soon, look around, and connect with something or someone - even if that someone is yourself.  

Walk this way...

So we're in!  And I have to say, my list of "I hope life includes" is mostly coming to fruition.  It's funny how when something IS right, it just kind of instantly makes you feel more calm.  Walking around Sunday morning - just me, Adam, and H - Adam looked at me and asked if everything was alright.  I'd been uncharacteristically quiet and calm.  I simply said, "No, I'm just content."  And nothing could be more true.  It's a fact that some of the realities have not yet set in (like how bad our street will smell tomorrow on trash day or how UN-glorious our walk to work will be when there is a foot of snow on the ground) but all in all, I feel more calm, like I can take advantage of life and control my time so much more.


Here are two snapshots from my (currently) glorious walk to work:

Love Park

Fountain at Logan Square

Other fun discoveries we've made:

• We will HATE the ice cream man by the end of summer.  He comes - no joke - a minimum of 3 times per night.  Thank goodness H doesn't yet know what the constant music is.  She just thinks it's a cool looking truck that drones on and on.  I hope to keep it that way for as long as possible...
• Walking to work is great exercise.  It also cause sweat - therefore I will now not wear a jacket if the temperature is above 55.  Bad news if I do.
• Waiting for buses is a lot like waiting for the train.  If you miss one, you're equally as pissed and it feels like it takes equally as long for the next one.  That being said, the plus of a bus v. a train?  The ride is an 8th of what it was.
• Philly loves it's festivals.  We've become devout readers of Uwishunu and can't get enough of the awesome things our new home has to offer.  While many are free though, it is going to be tougher to keep to our budget than I thought.
• It's harder to get rid of stuff than I thought.  We did purge a TON before we moved.  But I am now finding myself looking at old momentos and finding no room for them but not really knowing how to part with them.  I wonder where the line is between simple living and extremism.

All in all, I have to say that I'm a pretty happy camper.  Although once my inlaws are out, our stuff is away, and H is asleep, I want to really just sit down and think and soak it in.  For now, I'll just bask in the light of one giant step in the very right direction.

he made the world to be a grassy road beneath her wandering feet.  

~ w.b. yeats

Small on space, big on joy.

Feeling like we had completely lost our TOV, Adam (the hubs) and I took a look at our life and most importantly the way it was making us feel.  The bottom line?  Generally fairly blah.  Don't get me wrong, we had lots and lots of good things in our life, like good jobs, a super happy kiddo, and good health, neither of us really felt fulfilled.  As former residents of the fair city of Seattle, we thought back to those times and asked ourselves why we felt "so much happier" there.  Aside from the fact that we were DINKs at the time (I'm glad we have H but let's be honest, wee ones are HARD WORK!), we both had activities that we were really interested in like dodge ball and book club, we rented a tiny apartment that was sparsely furnished so there wasn't much housekeeping to be done, and living in such a bus-friendly city, we were able to get around very easily, spending minimal time getting to the things that interested us. On top of that, we had a fulfilling church community, we volunteered, and we could easily take advantage of nature.  

Our happy little rowhome :)

Our paralyzing commute here in Philly (1.5 hours each way) has now made much of these activities very tough (although I have no doubt that just our own inertia keeps us from a lot of things at times).  We miss the amenities of a city, and we also had a house that was 3 times the size of our Seattle apartment.  The obvious choice to begin restoring balance in our lives was to get ourselves back into the city.  For over a year, we carefully selected the neighborhood that best matched our personalities and needs.  Fairmount it is!  And so at the end of this week, we'll move into this beauty of a house: 

Here's the idealistic view of what we think we're getting ourselves into:

• Half the square footage (this is a fact, it's just that we're going into this thinking it will be a very good thing)
• WAY shorter commute
• More time to do activities that mean something to us
• More time with H
• Better access to amenitites
• No increase (or perhaps savings) in our spending
• A community that feels passionate about its well being
• More "people like us"
• Better Thai food
• A more complex process when trying to buy food groceries as well as dry goods (WHERE DO YOU BUY TOILET PAPER??)
• Higher wage taxes (again, this is a fact, although we'd love to figure out a solution)
• A more multicultural upbringing for H
• A more violent school system to contend with
• Street hockey (please, oh please, I hope kids play this!)

If you were moving from the 'burbs to the city, what would you expect?  

Check back next week for an update on how the move went and any early findings.

Woodburning of TOV that I made for Adam as wedding present.

During our pre-marital counseling, Adam and I talked about the wide swing of dynamics in our relationship.  He tends to be more even keel, I tend to ride high most of the time.  It was then that our Pastor, Paul Hoffman of Phinney Ridge Lutheran Church in Seattle, introduced us to the concept of TOV.  I had a sense of it's gravity at the time (hence the gift) and it has become so central to our marriage over the past 4 years.  


While TOV most certainly is a religious term and while I most certainly call myself a religious person, I promise that this won't be a (full) lesson in Theology.  But alas... In the creation story in Genesis, the scriptures say that when God created the earth and all its creatures, he saw that it was "good."  But the author uses the word "TOV" in the Hebrew text.  Here the translation to "good" is incomplete.  For the good here isn't like the difference between a tasty cupcake and a bowl of cauliflower, nor is it saying that God had simply done a good job and was happy with the work.  The word TOV means in beautiful, perfect balance.  Pastor Judy of North Park University recently described this concept well in her blog.  She says "TOV means that things are beautiful and working the way they are supposed to work.  TOV is creation running on all cylinders, beautiful by design and with not a piece of it going to waste."

For a couple who naturally trends toward being out of TOV, out of balance, we have to work at this.  It means more communication most days, and some days it means giving each other more space to breathe.  But most immediately, it means finding the many ways in which our life is out of TOV and doing what we can to restore it.

In just a matter of days, we'll move into a new house that (hopefully) will be a huge step in the right direction.  Smaller house, less stuff, WAY shorter commute, a greater sense of community.  We're starting on our quest of FINDING TOV.